Love Them Like Jesus

About a week ago, my best friend's boyfriend lost his grandfather. Before she left we were discussing what exactly you should say and do in moments like these. She wanted to have comforting answers and words for him, and was at a loss. At the same time, his hurt pained her as well. And of course, I then hurt for her pain. What a crazy cycle... Mere days later, someone asked me if I could write down some appropraite responses to tough moments for her (ie. death, illness, depression, loss, etc...) The truth is, that we can't make a list of things to say at these times. Even if we could, those things would be spoken less genuinely, they would become cliches.

In reality, every death is as unique as the person who is dying. And every reaction to that death (or needs brought forth as a result of it) is unique to the person reacting. No two deaths, nor reactions to those deaths, will ever be the same. Nor should they be. A death is more than some random life event...it is the final life event. The one thing that we cannot reverse or decide against. It is final. Of all experiences, death must be among the most sacred and solemn, yet joyous of them all. And in the same way, each person's reaction to that death is wonderfully sacred. All too often, we lose sight of just how sacred an event each death is. And it the uniqueness and sacredness of death, that makes it impossible to have a programmed response for it; or a "list of appropraite responses". So then, what's the answer?

There is song by Casting Crowns called "Love Them Like Jesus". In one part the song says, "You're holding her hand. You're straining for words. You're trying to make sense of it all. She's desperate for hope; darkness clouding her view, and she's looking to you.   Just love her like Jesus, carry her to Him. His yoke is easy, His burden is light. You don't need the answers to all of life's questions. Just know that He loves her. He'll stay by her side. And love her like Jesus."

I think it is a pretty good answer. We should follow in the example of Jesus. What was Jesus' response? Well, He often spoke to his Father before healing a person...so we should come to Jesus with our intentions for those we love. Jesus made himself present...to listen, to care, to serve. So we also should make ourselves present. And Jesus loved...so we should love.

The most we can do in so many of these moments is to hold hands. To be present. To listen. To pray for the wisdom to know when to speak, and when to be silent. To accept and acknowledge that we do not have the answers. To encourage the telling of stories, and remembrance of joy. To allow our hearts to hurt for the other. To offer our help and care and love with sincerity. And then to take them to the foot of the cross in prayer. And finally just to love them, and let them know of our love.

I'm certainly no expert, but this is what I try to do. It's all I know to do. "Just love them like Jesus"...