The Right Questions

So last night I was watching this video on the internet about the book When Bad Things Happen To Good People. I'm pretty familiar with the book. When I was in college I had to choose a research topic for my Pastoral Care class, and I chose Theodicy. In a round about way, it was an effort to try to make sense of how we can have such a loving God in such a suffering world. It's a puzzle that has always intrigued me. When I did that project, I read a lot of books on the subject...I've read several more since. But still, it's one of those topics that always seems to open up more questions than it gives answers.

When I wrote the paper for class, my thought process (as best I can remember) was more about God's role in suffering. I don't think that God sits high in a cloud somewhere and thinks up painful schemes to hurt us. I don't think that He gives us pain to teach us; or that He creates us thinking, "This one's really gunna suffer big." It doesn't make sense to me that way at all. I guess that just isn't the God I know. My thought process has been more like, pain and suffering entered the world through sin...often through the choices we make. I don't think God wants to see us suffer or hurt. And when we are created, I think it's probably more like, "This one I know will suffer much. So, I'll make and fill her with the strength and graces she'll need." I think good often comes from suffering in the form of lessons learned and people to help. But I think it's the good that comes from the suffering that God designs for us. It's our crazy cool, awesome, magnanimous God that looks at our lives and creates ways for us to bring goodness from our suffering, if we so chose...God's just cool like that. And well, this has been my thought process for a while now.

But last night, it struck me that maybe we aren't asking the right questions. Instead of asking "Why is the glass half empty?", we should be asking why it is half full. Instead of asking why bad things happen to good people, we should be asking why good things happen to bad people. Now I don't mean this to come off in a sort of, we all suck, way. But we are all sinners; we all screw up, we all turn away. So don't we deserve the bad? I know I do. Yet, my life is full of so much goodness and grace. Why do I deserve the good, the grace. I don't. But God showers it all on me anyway...His grace and love is so far beyond what I deserve. And yet, I still moan over the suffering. I'm so inwardly turned and selfish and high in my own estimation of myself and my humanity, that I keep asking the wrong why.

So today, I'm going with some different questions: "Why do I deserve a glass half full?" "Why do good things happen to bad (sinful) people?" "Why does God provide me with lemons to make my lemonade?" "Why does it always seem that I make it through just fine, when I thought there wasn't a chance?" "Why does so much good come from so little suffering?" I think the answer is probably something like "grace" or "Love". All I know is that I am thankful for it. And this whole new world of actually, honestly, understanding it on a much more real level came because I finally thought to ask the right questions.
Anyway, I was just thinking...

It's All About the Tree

So here goes nothing...

I don't expect that anyone will ever actually read this thing. I know it sounds kind of stupid...like, what's the point then? My spiritual director thought it would be a great idea, and I agree. I guess the point is that I have a lot on my mind, and I love to write. And sometimes the answers to puzzles come in pieces, but we can only put the pieces together if we can find them. So, I guess this is about putting my puzzle pieces in a safe place...so that they will be there when I need them.

If anyone ever does read this thing, I'm sorry. Because I won't be too focused on spelling, grammar, or flow. This is just about saying things and getting them out there. Thinking (or writing) out loud so to speak.

When I had to choose a title for this blog, I didn't hesitate. I knew it had to be "Beneath the Tree". I have found God time and time again beneath a good tree. I have asked questions and searched for answers and pieced together puzzles beneath good trees. Something about the sturdiness of the trunk and the coverage and safety beneath it's limbs have always spoken to me about who God is. And I guess it would make sense that God would come to me in a tree. I mean, He came to the rescue of all humanity upon a tree. He reached out to the sinner Zaccheus beneath a tree. And He spoke to His mother and John, who were beneath the tree. God chose to solve the world's greatest problems through trees... and I guess it would make sense that He still does. So that's the plan. This will be my indoor tree. The place I come to think and write and pray and solve puzzles...especially when I can't make it out the real thing. And so begins a new(ish) journey "Beneath the Tree".